“Soldier”
Season 2, Episode 1 (#33 overall)
Originally aired 9/19/1964
Fifty years ago tonight, we glimpsed a future that wasn’t particularly bright, but required one to wear shades regardless… y’now, because of those pesky giant laser beams and whatnot.
Centuries
in the future, earth is divided into two warring factions whose weapons are
enormous, destructive laser beams and, for more intricate operations, foot
soldiers bred from birth to do nothing but seek out and kill the enemy. Qarlo
Clobregnny is one such soldier and, prowling within a vast nightmarish
wasteland, he stalks his enemy counterpart, who happens to be stalking him at
the same time. Spurred by urgent voices emitting from their helmets, they rush
to meet and, just before they blast one another into oblivion, find themselves caught in the
middle of two intersecting laser beams.
Qarlo
and the Enemy spin in a temporal vortex and end up in 1964. The Enemy only partially materializes, trapped halfway between the present and
the future; Qarlo, meanwhile, makes it through unscathed and is promptly
apprehended by the authorities. Incoherent and violent, he is deposited in a
mental institution. Philologist Tom Kagan is sent to evaluate him and hopefully
decode his mysterious language. After an ominous briefing by government liaison
Paul Tanner, Kagan gets his first look at Qarlo, who paces in his cell like a
caged animal, uttering a near-unintelligible phrase over and over.
Kagan eventually realizes that Qarlo is speaking a heretofore unknown dialect of English
laced with copious amounts of slang, and that the phrase he's been repeating ad infinitum is
actually his name, rank and designation: “Name’s Qarlo Clobregnny,
Private, RM-EN-TN-DO.” Kagan progressively establishes a dialogue with Qarlo
and is able to piece together the soldier’s back story, as wells as details
about future Earth. Elsewhere, the Enemy finally wriggles through into 1964 and
commences hunting for Qarlo.

Just then, the living room wall disintegrates as the Enemy arrives, laser rifle blazing. Qarlo protectively leaps in front of Kagan’s family and attacks the Enemy. After a brief scuffle, the Enemy’s weapon discharges, reducing both of them to a pile of ashes.
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RANDOMONIUM

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Happily,
there are a couple of familiar names in the credits: “Soldier” is directed by Gerd Oswald, who helmed some of season
one’s greatest triumphs (and is by far the series’ most prolific director with
13 episodes; that’s 27% of the entire series to you math geeks out there).
Speaking of prolificacy (yes, it's a word; look it up), director of photography Kenneth Peach served on a whopping 25 episodes (a bit more than
half the series!), including this week’s offering. Thanks to their combined
efforts, the episode is certainly nice to look at: the gigantic futuristic
battlefield is one of the most impressive sets in the entire series, and the
prologue sequence set within it is effectively and tensely staged.
The
sight of Qarlo and the Enemy flailing around in the spiraling time warp is
laughably silly, but it does serve as an effective introduction to the new
season’s more traditional gee-whiz sci-fi visual identity. And of course we’ve
seen this same effect time and again in the ensuing fifty years, most obviously
on TV’s The Time Tunnel and, more
recently, Austin Powers: The Spy Who
Shagged Me (did you ever think you’d see an Austin Powers reference in
these pages? Oh behave!). And I’d be unforgivably remiss if I didn’t mention a rather famous
spiral (though not time warp-specific) from a certain other classic TV series
that I just happen to blog about….
Visually,
things do get progressively pedestrian as the episode progresses, but it’s
nothing terribly detrimental (by contrast, have a look at next month’s
“Expanding Human” to see a true example of Oswald and Peach phoning their work
in, almost spectacularly so). In fact, it’s probably appropriate to tone things
down and flatten out the lighting as Qarlo transitions into a quiet, suburban
life… and who among us wouldn’t love to see that sitcom play out?
Honestly, how can they tell they're on different sides?

Qarlo explains that he has no mother; that he was born in the “Creche Hatchery,” which strongly implies that he is in fact a clone, one of thousands, perhaps millions that are engineered solely for battle. Modern viewers saw this concept realized on a massive scale (computer generated, unfortunately) in 2002’s Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones.
The
brief scene in the kitchen with Qarlo and Kagan's teenaged daughter is positively brimming with
surprising (and sadly unexplored) tensions. It’s refreshing to see the spunky
kid stand up to the scary radiation-scarred meanie in her midst, but it’s
imminently more satisfying to witness Qarlo’s seething, tortured reaction to
her. He’s probably never seen a female before, much less a nubile girl on the
cusp on womanhood, so one can only imagine what previously-dormant
genetic-memory impulses are firing inside his addled head (and, um, other areas
as well) as she gives him a piece of her mind. He raises a hand to strike her,
ostensibly to shut her up, but it may very well be a defensive move against the
incomprehensible icky, sticky feelings he’s experiencing.

If Qarlo’s near-instantaneous disintegration of the police car in act one looks familiar, it’s because we saw the Thetanized Robert Culp do the exact same thing to those pesky hunters' station wagon in “The Architects of Fear” last season. It's a bit more drawn out this time around, allowing for a closer study of the optical effect. It's like those cars just melt out of existence.
The
helmets worn by Qarlo and the Enemy contain speakers which bark orders at them
(“Find your enemy,” “Attack,” “Kill,” etc.). We presume that their superiors transmit these messages from long distance, but the fact that the messages still play in the past would seem to indicate that the messages are mere recordings playing back at random intervals. The
voice in Qarlo’s helmet, incidentally, belongs to Tim O’Conner (Tanner). The Control Voice himself, Vic Perrin, provides the voice in
the Enemy’s helmet.

Of course, we have our own version in these post-modern times: the comical (yet increasingly popular) e-cigarette. That's right, I bought one for research purposes. The things I do for you people.....
Nerds rejoice! “Soldier,”
along with Ellison’s other Outer Limits
contribution “Demon with a Glass Hand,” was mentioned in “The Mommy
Observation,” a 2014 episode of the TV comedy The Big Bang Theory. Have a look/listen:
Qarlo’s
helmet reappeared on TV’s Mork and Mindy
in the late 70’s, a series that introduced the world to a more-or-less unknown comedian
named Robin Williams, who would go
on to become a celebrated and beloved superstar. Tragically, Williams took his
own life just a month ago.
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AURAL PLEASURE

Final Conflict
Dramatic Tragedy 1
Dramatic Tragedy 4
Imminent Ambush 1
Hostile Galaxy
Affliction
Mental Anguish
Murderous Assault
Regarding
that last cue… my car stereo has a USB input, so I often listen to music stored on flash drives. Lately I’ve been listening to Lubin’s cues quite a bit (to get myself in the mood for season two), and I’m
always amused when “Murderous Assault” comes up, because the stereo can only
display so many characters….
As
previously reported, there are bootlegs out there if one looks hard enough, but
an official soundtrack release of Lubin’s contributions to the series is long
overdue. La La Land Records, are you listening?
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DRAMATIS PERSONAE
Tom
Kagan is played by Lloyd Nolan in
his only Outer Limits appearance;
however, his résumé (okay, his IMDB page) reveals another series connection: he
appeared in “The Name of the Game” on TV’s I
Spy, which starred TOL leading
man Robert Culp. Nolan doesn’t have much genre experience, but he can be
spotted in many film noirs from 20th Century Fox, including 1945’s The House on 92nd Street
(which co-starred TOL alum Signe
Hasso), 1946’s Somewhere in the Night,
and 1948’s The Street with No Name.
Michael Ansara is marvelous as Qarlo Clobregnny. Genre fans
probably know him best as Kang the Klingon, a role he originated in “The Day of
the Dove” on the original Star Trek
(which he later reprised on the Trek
spinoffs Deep Space Nine and Voyager). I first became aware of Ansara
when he played Kane, Princess Ardala’s jealous henchman, on TV’s Buck Rogers in the 25th Century
(a character first played by TOL alum
Henry Silva in the series’ pilot movie). Genre fans may have spotted Ansara in three appearances on Alfred Hitchcock Presents as well (“Shopping for Death,” “The Orderly
World of Mr. Appleby,” and “The Baby Sitter”).


Sgt.
Berry is played by Marlowe Jensen,
who also played the minister officiating over Noel’s doomed wedding in season
one’s “The Man Who Was Never Born.” Jensen’s acting career only lasted ten
years but, in that brief time, he managed several appearances on The Fugitive, The F.B.I., and, more appropriate for our purposes, an episode of The Invaders (“The Watchers," which guest-starred Noel herself, Shirley Knight).
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HOME VIDEO RELEASES
“Soldier” first appeared on the chunky, clunky, and downright funky VHS format (above) in December 1988 (as part of the fifth wave of retail releases, along with “The Architects of Fear” and “Specimen: Unknown”). For its subsequent Columbia House mail-order exclusive release (pictured below), the episode inexplicably gained a “The” in its title and shared tape space with “Fun and Games,” another Oswald-directed outing. For its UK release (right), it was paired with season one’s “Nightmare.”

“Soldier”
was deemed worthy of inclusion in the series' first LaserDisc collection, which
appeared in November 1990. I actually own this volume, even though I’ve never
owned an LD player. As a self-appointed chronicler of The Outer Limits’ home video history, I was really curious to check
out a set in person, and it was only ten bucks on eBay, and… hey, why the hell
am I explaining myself? I do these things so that you, the reader, doesn’t have
to. Yeah, you’re welcome.
Like
all 49 episodes of the series, “Soldier” can be found on three distinct DVD
releases: the original season two set
(September 2003), the later “volume three” set (October 2007), and the complete
series collection (October 2008). Be advised that all three contain the exact
same discs; only the packaging is different. As an obsessive completist
collector type, avoiding the later releases was difficult, but somehow I
managed to stick to my guns. I should also mention that the first season two disc is prone to failure; mine won’t play “Behold Eck!” all the way through
(which may be a blessing, actually). That’s right: MGM has released the same
iffy discs three different times and has never bothered to fix the problem or
even offer an exchange program.
But
hey, why give MGM any of your hard-earned money at all when you can watch the
entire series, “Soldier” included, for free? Just point your browser to Hulu
and have yourself a little (or big) Outer
Limits marathon at your leisure. If you’re worried about quality, well, you needn't be: the streaming versions are identical to the DVDs (I did a direct
comparison for last season’s “Moonstone” and couldn’t see a difference).
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MERCHANDISE SPOTLIGHT
Qarlo
Clobregnny is yet another visually interesting Outer Limits character that would’ve made an awesome Sideshow
Collectibles action figure… but it was sadly not to be. Happily, Dimensional Designs saves the day with a pretty cool 1/8”-scale resin and metal model kit
(DD/OL/QC-32), sculpted by Sean Sansom (who also did a bang-up job with Reese
Fowler from season one’s “The Mutant”). This one’s especially nifty because it
comes with an alternate head, so you can display yours avec or sans that
distinctive helmet. If you’d like to add a li’l Qarlo to your model collection,
be prepared to fork over $59.95 plus shipping, plus the time and effort to assemble
and paint him. Drum-dums like me are all thumbs and couldn’t possibly
accomplish such intricate work. I, um, wasn't able to track down a picture of a completed Qarlo specimen (not even from the stalwart Mr. Enamel), so I'm feeling a bit failurish right about now.
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THE WRAP-UP
“Soldier” certainly doesn’t feel like the Outer Limits we know and love, but it’s a solid inaugural outing for the series’ new regime. It’s undeniably fun, and Michael Ansara turns in an intense and unforgettable performance. If the entirety of season two maintained this level of quality, I imagine it’d be remembered much more fondly. Unfortunately…. well, stay tuned.